Sunday, January 11, 2015

The Holiday Letter You Didn't Get From Me

Dear Friends and Family,

Hello! And happy holidays.

Yes, I know that Christmas is long passed, and you may have received a card from me with no personal message written on it. Not even a signature. Or maybe you thought you'd get a card, but then I got side-tracked and never made that second trip to the post office. Feel free to call me names.

If you were remembering the clever little missives of the past, just know that I didn't manage to get myself together in time to do that this year. To those of you who did, you earned your humble brags just by having the foresight to write your Christmas letter (I actually like these Christmas letters, although that seems to be an unpopular sentiment. But keep them coming!)

And if you didn't get a Christmas card out this year, no sweat. Your great-aunt is probably silently judging you (or not-so-silently judging you, or not-so-silently comparing you to your cousin Eileen  - Did you see Eileen's Christmas letter? She has four kids and an organic hand soap business and SHE managed to send a letter... (dramatic pause).

2014 brought me travel and adventure! To recap:

Flight map of the South on the day we were trying
to get to Birmingham. I'm not sure what that little plane
was trying to do, because there was
nowhere to land.
Winter 2014
The year started off with a trip to Nashville, TN: Music City! Of course, I had originally been attempting to go to Birmingham, AL, but due to a freak storm we were re-routed. 

If you have never been to Nashville, I can recommend the airport, where you can while away the hours in such pursuits as sitting, listening to country music stars give pre-recorded messages about how great Nashville is, and talking to the pleasant Southwest staff members about which cast members from the show Nashville they have seen in the airport.

You may never want to leave the airport, but if you do, the airport area has many fine hotels where you can attempt to get some dinner from the single waitress on staff. Get up early to get back to the airport to return home, never having reached your final destination.

Spring 2014
As spring rolled in, I was excited to find a special offer in my mail, that you can see at right. It really is amazing all the wonderful things that you can get these days, if you just pay attention to the coupons in your weekly mail. Personally, I enjoy redeeming free cremations as often as possible. You never know know when you'll need one!

Summer 2014
Ah summer! There's nothing like a Houston summer, when the air coats your skin like a hot wet blanket has been wrapped around you, tighter and tighter until you  think that you might need to redeem a free cremation any minute. When the weather is so delightfully warm that your thighs stick together every time you walk down the street, it's the perfect opportunity to explore the activities that summer brings.

My friend Melanie and I decided that we would try the wooden roller coaster at Kemah Boardwalk, little realizing that people in their thirties are perhaps not the target audience for a contraption made of match sticks which tosses you back and forth  at high speeds. While we had a great time, we also came out looking like car crash victims due to the gigantic bruises we acquired. I'm not sure if there's a ride at the boardwalk that involves sitting and drinking wine, but if there is, next time we'll try that.

Photo tip: When taking pictures of
sidewalks, make sure that your shadow
is not in the picture. You'll treasure
these sidewalk pictures for years to come.
Fall 2014
Fall brought the trip of a lifetime, as my Mom and I visited our ancestral homeland of Spain! We enjoyed the fine cuisine, such a chicken stew surrounded by French fries, chicken on a bed of French fries, and French fries with hot sauce. And ham. We also enjoyed the many cobblestone and tiled streets and alleys, which my mother urged me to document in photos as often as possible. 

There's nothing like foreign travel to test the mother daughter bond, but luckily we passed with flying colors. So... to all of you who asked, "You're spending how long with your mother?" I can tell you that it was amazing. As long as I agreed to get to the train station an hour or more before every leg of the trip, nothing could come between us!

I hope that you had as wonderful of a 2014 as I. As for 2015, I give you the words of Warren Zevon:

"Don't let us get sick
Don't let us get old
Don't let us get stupid, all right?

Just make us be brave,
Make us play nice,
And let us be together tonight."

Love, your friend

No comments: